


Spiders Don't Make Good Customers

by sunttae



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Agender Character, Asexual Character, Florist AU, because obviously they're the only normal people in the group, but just pretend that they are, everyone has strange pets, except tsukki and kuroo, exotic pet store au, idek if exotic pet stores are a thing, tags will be updated probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 10:51:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3444407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunttae/pseuds/sunttae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s close to the door when the inevitable happens. There’s a spider in his path. He skids to a halt, ready to face off against this menacing arachnid. An imaginary tumbleweed rolls between the two of them, and he can almost feel the stereotypical Mexican standoff music playing. Just as he’s about to deliver his opening line, the one that would make this all seem much more dramatic and tense, the spider turns and scurries back to whatever dark hell it came from. Spoilsport.</p><p>aka that strange au with the spiders that nobody asked for</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spiders Don't Make Good Customers

**Author's Note:**

> based off the au 'i don't know whose idea it was to have an exotic pet shop next to a florist but now there are spiders in my flowers and i would yell at you if you weren't so cute'

If there’s one thing Daichi hates more than picky customers, it’s coming into the store on a perfectly good Wednesday morning to find that there are tarantulas in his flowers. Again.

He stands in the doorway for a second, blinking stupidly at one of the large spiders, who is slowly making his way up the side of one of the vases in the window. Honestly it isn’t even that surprising anymore. Now, the time he found a snake behind the counter. That had been surprising. Sure it had been a small snake, but still, how the hell did a snake even get into his store? But spiders… Spiders he can deal with.

Daichi is brought out of his thoughts of snakes and spiders and how stupid it was to build an exotic pet store right next to a florist by a gentle weight on his leg. A gentle weight moving up his leg. Looking down, he’s not even slightly surprised to the find that one of the spiders has become curious of the new thing in its flowery playground and decided to become the Sherlock Holmes of spiders and investigate. Although he is surprised that this is the first time that one of the spiders has decided to climb up his leg. If he’s being entirely honest, it kind of pisses him off.

Sighing, he starts moving towards the back of the shop, walking like one of those cowboys you see in the old western movies. One leg would step forward normally and the other would swing out to the side to avoid crushing the spider or knocking him off onto the ground. Thank god the store wasn’t open yet, Daichi didn’t want to deal with the customers thinking he was an idiot. Oh, and there was also the problem that his store was filled with large spiders. That just might scare some people off.

He’s brushing his eight legged passenger off his leg as soon as he reaches the door behind the counter. He watches the spider scurry away to some dark corner of the shop before he opens the door, quickly slipping into the staff room. It’s only a small room, a navy couch and matching armchair taking up most of the space. The remainder of the room consists of a small kitchenette in the left-hand corner, a moderately sized window placed on the back wall (looking at the window reminds Daichi that he still has to buy new curtains, as the current ones are a gaudy coloured magenta, olive green and a bright yellow flower pattern that just doesn’t quite fit in with the rest of the room) and a door off to the right which leads to the bathroom. At least the spiders haven’t infiltrated this room yet, that’s a relief.

Tossing his messenger bag onto the couch, he takes a few steps towards the kitchenette before deciding that no, now was not the time for a cup of coffee, despite how much the caffeine would help right about now. He groans and runs his fingers through his closely cropped hair, dark eyes glancing down to the watch on his wrist. 8:15. The shop is meant to be opening soon, which means that he should probably do something about his not-so-little spider situation before then. Glancing longingly at his beloved coffeemaker with a drawn-out sigh, Daichi turns to make his way back into the store. He’s careful when opening the door as he tries to make sure there are none of his unwanted visitors in sight. Once certain that he’s not going to be ambushed by spiders, he dashes out of the staffroom, kicking the door shut behind himself. He runs through the shelves at a little less than a sprint before reaching the open display ground at the front of the store and running straight to the door. Daichi almost feels as if he’s in the apocalypse, although instead of the stereotypical zombies that one might expect, its giant spiders. He’s pretty sure he’s seen a movie like that before. 8 Legged Freaks, or something like that.

He’s close to the door when the inevitable happens. There’s a spider in his path. He skids to a halt, ready to face off against this menacing arachnid. An imaginary tumbleweed rolls between the two of them, and he can almost feel the stereotypical Mexican standoff music playing. Just as Daichi’s about to deliver his opening line, the one that would make this all seem much more dramatic and tense, the spider turns and scurries back to whatever dark hell it came from. Spoilsport.

The bell above the door chimes softly as he makes his way outside, letting out a faint sigh once he’s free from the spider ridden store. He takes extra care to shut the door behind himself, not wanting anything to escape while he’s confronting the owner of the neighbouring store. Well, if the owner is actually there, this time. Previous times, when he’s had to go confront whatever poor soul was working at the register that day, it’s just been a couple of college kids and never the actual owner of the store. Hopefully that’ll change today.

Due to the fact that they open their store earlier than he does, he doesn’t have to wait around for half an hour or so waiting for someone to come and take back their tarantulas. Daichi takes a deep breath to prepare himself before pushing the door open and striding into the pet store. It isn’t the first time he’s been in there, of course, yet he can’t help the initial surprise that always comes with stepping inside. The lights are set low, and he has to blink a couple of times to get used to the change. Glass cases are placed in rows along one side of the room. Half of them are filled with some sort of exotic snake, or lizard, the other are home to the more aquatic creatures. The opposite side of the store is filled with shelves that are stocked with assorted pet supplies. To the left of the door is the counter, and on the wall behind it were multiple class habitats containing spiders of different types. Daichi couldn’t help but grimace as he noticed them.

There’s a man bent over behind the counter, and Daichi can hear him muttering something to himself. After a minute of waiting (and definitely not staring at his ass, nope) he clears his throat in an attempt to gain the other’s attention. A thump is heard, followed by some cursing which Daichi just manages to hear the end of, and then they’re is standing up.

The first thing he notices is his hair. It’s silver in colour, and looks so soft that Daichi is instantly tempted to run his fingers through it. His eyes are a light hazel-brown that brighten as he gives a welcoming smile. The stranger is slightly shorter than himself and slim, from what he can see of his upper body. Daichi thinks he’s died and gone to heaven, and this man is an angel waiting to guide him through the gates of paradise.

That is until he sees the snake that is currently curling himself around the man’s neck and down his left arm.

The hopeful expression that he previously had is gone and he can feel his heart shatter into a million tiny fragments as he watches the slimy reptile slither down the arm of this beautiful human being. Nope, this definitely isn’t heaven. Snakes don’t exist in heaven.

It’s only when the employee in front of him gives a little ‘ahem’ in a polite tone does he realize that he’s been silent for too long. He blinks sheepishly a couple of times before going to explain why he was there.

“Inemataspa?”

Okay no. That wasn’t what he meant to say at all. It wasn’t even a word at all.

The man at the register gives a small snicker, placing a hand over his mouth in an attempt to conceal his grin. Oh god, Daichi just had to go and embarrass himself in front of the attractive man with the great ass. He can feel the ball python glaring at him, as if it were saying ‘you had one job, and you fucked it up’. He would glare back but he’s pretty sure that glaring at snakes isn’t something that sane people do. He lets out a sigh and gives the employee an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry, could you please repeat that?” He asks, and his voice instantly reminds Daichi of a heavenly choir of angels.

Okay maybe that was an exaggeration.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he drew himself up in an attempt to make himself look professional. To be honest, it was probably failing.

“I’d like to speak to the manager, please.”

There. He did it, and he didn’t fuck it up this time.

“Oh! Okay, well the manager would be me, actually. What can I help you with?”

Hold on a second. He’s the manager? Oh god no. There’s only one way this can end, and that’s very, very, badly. Every time Daichi ends up interested in someone it ends badly. Although that’s mainly because his friends think it’s a good idea to try and ‘help’. There is no way he’s telling them about this.

“I own the florist next door, and when I arrived this morning I was quite surprised to find some of your lovely tarantulas exploring my flowers. Again.”

“Again? So you’re the tarantula guy! I was wondering when I’d finally meet you.”

“Tarantula guy?” Daichi questions, head tilting slightly to the side.

“Oh yes, one of my employees has been talking about you. Short college student with bright orange hair, tends to be rather enthusiastic? Have you met him? Well, he was the one who gave you the nickname.”

He nods slowly, processing this new information. Tarantula guy. Okay. That’s not the worst nickname he’s had before.

“Yeah, I’ve talked to him before.” He shifts, crossing his arms over his chest in what he hopes doesn’t come across as a defensive gesture. “Actually, he was the one who let the spiders out. Accidentally, I suppose. At least I hope it was accidentally.”

The manager gives him a charming and somewhat nervous smile, reaching up to rub the back of his head with the hand that isn’t covered in snake. “Ah, I’m so sorry about that!”

Daichi chuckles and shakes his head, returning the smile with one of his own. “It’s fine,” he responds. “Could you just maybe come and collect the spiders though? I don’t want to scare off my customers when I open the store for the day.”

The man nods, still smiling (though did he ever stop?) before reaching a hand over the counter for Daichi to take as he introduces himself. “I’m Sugawara Koushi, by the way. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Sawamura Daichi.” He shakes his hand, sending a suspicious look towards the snake as its head turned in his direction.

Seeing the sour expression Daichi wore as he examined the reptile caused Sugawara to laugh, hefting his left arm up a little bit further so that his new neighbour could get a proper look the snake. Daichi recoils, shocked at the sudden proximity. Nervously, he glances between Suga and the beady eyes of the snake. Its tongue flickers out, tasting the air in front of it, and he takes a further step away. The more distance between the two of them, the better.

Suga lets out a snort causing both the snake and Daichi to turn towards him. His cheeks light up with a faint blush at the sudden attention he’s receiving.

“Let me just go put Meatloaf away and then I’ll come collect the spiders for you, how does that sound?” Sugawara asks, yet he’s already back away towards the staffroom door, not really waiting for Daichi’s response. He just manages to get an ‘okay’ out before the door in slamming shut in his haste to return the snake.

“Meatloaf?” He asks to himself, after a couple of moments of standing alone in the empty store. Needless to say he is very confused about the name of Sugawara’s snake.

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

“That’s the last of them then,” Koushi announced, straightening up from where he was crouched. He takes a careful look around, eyes narrowing as he scrutinizes the flowers. “I think. I’m not sure. You may still have some in your flowers,” he adds, grinning as he shifts the box containing the spiders under his arm. A faint scratching can be heard from inside.

Daichi groans, slumping forwards on top of the counter. His forehead collides with the wood with a loud thump and everything is silent for a moment before a muffled ‘ow’ is heard. Suga gives a snort of laughter that causes him to raise his head, brows arched as he gives his new acquaintance an unimpressed look. Suga immediately quiets down, yet Daichi can tell by the twitching at the corners of his lips that he’s barely containing a smile.

He stands, pushing himself off the desk and making his way towards Suga. He’s smiling, and trying not to blush at how absolutely adorable Sugawara looks right now. 

“Thank you for your help,” Daichi says, nodding his head with a half grin. Suga simply blinks at him for a moment before returning the smile with one of his own, carefully repositioning how he was holding the spider box.

“No problem,” is his response. “I should really be going though, I probably can’t trust Kageyama with the shop for too long. He’ll just glare and scare all the customers away if I do.” He laughs, and Daichi swoons.

It takes a short moment for him to collect himself before he’s replying with an “ah, that’s fine,” and a wave of his hand. “Feel free to drop by whenever. Next time you buy flowers they’re free, to repay you for saving me from those dreaded spiders.”

Koushi is walking backwards towards the door, and he gives one more snort of laughter before turning his back, waving a hand over his shoulder. “Goodbye, Sawamura.”

“Call me Daichi,” he yells, managing to respond before the door slams shut.

Almost instantly he sags against the counter, giving a lovesick sigh as he rests his chin in his hands and gazes longingly towards the front of the store.

An indefinite amount of time passes before the bell above the door chimes again. This time, the sound is followed by an enthusiastic shout that almost causes Daichi to startle. Well it would have, if he wasn’t used to it by now.

He can hear the calls of “Daichi! Daichi” getting louder the closer his friend gets and he straightens up, walking around from behind the counter in preparation for the upcoming attack. And in 3, 2, 1-

“Daichi!”

Right on time. His arms are suddenly full of his excitable friend, and he has to step a foot back to keep from tipping over. At least this time he stayed upright this time.

The male in his arms places his hands on Daichi’s shoulders and leans backward, grinning brightly at his friend. A sigh comes from behind the wriggling mess of friend that he’s holding, and he attempts to see who it is, although he’s already fairly certain he knows.

“Sorry about Noya. He had some coffee this morning and now I can’t get him to stop,” Asahi says, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

Oh God. No. Anyone who knows Noya knows not to give him coffee. The already energetic libero becomes an unstoppable force when gives sugar or anything caffeinated, and everyone was encouraged to go somewhere, hide, and hope that he would be able to work off all the energy before he found you.

Daichi isn’t lucky enough for that to happen to him. Of course.

“You can put me down now,” comes the command from the short male, and almost immediately he lets go, dropping Noya. Luckily, he lands on his feet. Asahi would have been both in hysterics and threatening Daichi if anything were to happen to his admittedly smaller boyfriend.

Nishinoya starts to dance around Daichi, a constant chant of “what happened?” streaming passed his lips. His suspicion soon spreads to Asahi, who narrows his eyes as he examines his boss, taking a few small steps forward in the process. Daichi just stands there, shoulders slumped in defeat, not even bothering to time how long it would take them to figure it out. After the first couple of times he figured that it would only take them a couple of minute. He sighs, mentally preparing himself for the upcoming onslaught of questions. He should have seen this coming.

“Noya’s right. You do look happier than usual,” Asahi says, deciding to contribute to the conversation. There’s a hint of a smirk on his face, making Daichi glare. The smirk soon disappears and Asahi suddenly finds the bottom of his sweater really interesting.

“S-so. Who’s the lucky guy?” 

“Who is it? Do we know them? Are they cute? Daichi’s got a crush, Daichi’s got a crush!”

Daichi sighs, looking to Asahi for him. His friend, however just gives him a shrug and a small smile. He’s on his own this time.

The youngest of the trio keeps prancing around Daichi, waving his hands about and demanding the he answers the questions. The constant shouting and general energy is starting to get on his nerves, and he tries to think of a way to get Noya to shut up as soon as possible. An idea comes to mind and he smirks. Ah, yes. The perfect plan.

As soon as Nishinoya walks around in front of him again, Daichi reaches out, placing on hand over his mouth and using the other to hold him still. There we go. Silence. Apart from the muffled complaints coming from behind his hand of course. Asahi’s shoulders are shaking as he laughs quietly to himself, oblivious to the desperate look Noya is currently giving him.

“That’s better – Ah! Did you just lick my hand?! Asahi, restrain your boyfriend.”

“Sorry Daichi,” he replies, reaching out to grab Noya, taking him away before he could come up with a stupid idea to try and escape his grasp. Now that he’s with his partner, however, he quiets down slightly. He may be bouncing up and down on his toes, but at least he’s quiet.

“So, are you going to tell us who you like?”

Shit. How was going to avoid answering this?

“Uh—No one?” Daichi never really was a convincing liar.

“Come on. We promise not to tell anyone. Right Noya?”

Noya nods enthusiastically and for a second Daichi thinks his head might just fall off.

“Fine. It’s the owner of the pet store next door.” Why is he telling them this? He knows that they’re just going to tell everyone else in the group, and soon everyone will know about his new love interest, which is exactly what he didn’t want to happen. So why is he telling them?

It may or may not be because of the puppy dog eyes Noya is giving him.

“Wait. The exotic pet store owner? Is he cute? What’s he like? How did you two meet? I bet it was the spiders. Was it the spiders?” And there goes Noya, talking, once again.

“Yes, it was the spiders.”

“I knew it! So, so? Is he cute?”

He sighs wistfully, remembering the cute smile that Suga had given him earlier. “Gorgeous.” He smiles, picturing Koushi and how wonderful he had looked in his work shit and – “But he has a snake.”

“A snake? Don’t worry Daichi, we can get you one of those too! And then you two can date, and your snakes can date too!”

“Noya that is honestly the stupidest idea I have ever heard.”

“What’re you talking about? This idea is great.”

“Please stop.”

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

By the time Nishinoya has left, the day is half over, and Daichi is fearing for his love life. He groans. This is going to be a long week.


End file.
